So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize