What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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