I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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