go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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