Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i need some magic done to my vagina
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
