and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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