i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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