At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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