I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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