North Korea, Best Korea!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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