...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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