So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
