dude i'm inner monologue high
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
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he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
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For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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