then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
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Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
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when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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