i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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