i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
