You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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