hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
