btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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