Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
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my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
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It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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