He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I can't turn off my feet"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize