her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
