Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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