so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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