I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
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he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
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There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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