I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize