Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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