hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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