Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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