This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
