Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize