Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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