after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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