I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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