Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
