Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
