can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
