so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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