i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
