sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
