Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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