I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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