fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I can text with my tongue
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
