Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
