I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
FUCK WHALES
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize