hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
