Duck Duck Cougar?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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