"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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