last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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