I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
