love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Text me some of your sweat
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
