tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
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Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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