and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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