somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
