I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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