You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
