i just wanna soil my oats bro
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
