I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
